32. Only Son

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life." John 3: 16

*****

So many believers love these words

but I mostly hear in it, echoes

of the story I hate

from the Old Testament

when you test Abraham--

ask him to make the ultimate sacrifice

not himself,

but his son,

just to see if he would obey.

I hate that you ask such a cruel thing

(it doesn't sound like you, really)

but you come out looking like the good guy

in the nick of time so

it's Abraham's answer I hate more,

I hate that Abraham answers

with his knife.

If that's faith you can have it

and leave me to shield

my son.

If you want him you'll have to take him

over my dead body.

How can Abraham call himself a parent

and put a cause--

even his salvation--even ours--

ahead of the life

of a child, the life of his child,

the life of

His only son?

So it got me to thinking

that

as much as I hate that story,

you might have hated it more

writing it

knowing you'd be the one with the knife

soon enough

and no one to stop your hand.

As much as I hate that story,

that's as much as you love

the world.