30. Take This Cup

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done." Luke 22: 42

*****

How anguished and frail

you must have felt

to forget yourself like that.

To forget whose cup sat before you--

To forget who put it there,

who filled it with the deeds

that only you could do,

the life

that only you could live.

Father and son,

one in the same--

but not then.

Not right then.

In that moment,

you couldn't feel your father's presence,

couldn't feel the spirit

interwoven with flesh.

For a moment you felt alone--

betrayed by spirit,

human and frail

and anguished.

No wonder then, that I forget myself sometimes--

forget that your spirit dwells within me

and I shove away the cup

set before me.

Help me listen instead

for the voice of the spirit within

who says, gently,

"It's your cup,

set before you

by the you that always was

and always will be,

and it is filled with the deeds

that only you can do,

the life

that only you can live.

Drink deep."