40. By Name

"Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb  and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”). Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her." John 20: 11-18

*****

I know you know

that I get wrapped up

in what I think I see

What I think I am

And what I think is there for me.

And I know you know

That I have only to stop

to breathe

to look up

and everything can change

Everything--

in a heartbeat.



Jesus--

I will know you

if you call me

by name.

39. Peace

“A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also.  At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you...

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, ‘I am going to the Father,’ for My Father is greater than I." John 14: 19-20; 27-28

*****

Everything we think we know

in this world

is merely a shadow--

the rough outline--

of what is real

in Yours.

Peace

Love

Joy

It's almost unfair to use the same words;

our poor words

to describe your richness.

Not as the world gives

But that's all we know

What does it mean, to see you?

What does it mean, to live?

What does it mean, to love?

Show us

and soon.

Because our poor words

we pull over us like a too-small blanket

and we're chilled and we need

more--

more truth

in your words.

38. Senseless

"'Very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; you will have your pain, but your pain will turn into joy.'" John 16: 20

*****

Always the teacher,

in life and death.

But how can you teach us something

that makes no sense?

Even to you?

A moment of weakness, no more, but we heard you

beg your father

for another way

And yet he did nothing to stop it

You did nothing to stop it.

You of all people.

The only sense I can make of it

is that you did it--

you died--

to teach us

that death never makes sense

because it isn't what we were created for.

We were created to live

forever.

Your death

conquered our death

--but it was a death you could have prevented

yet a death you freely accepted, foretold even

for centuries--

a death that surpasses

all understanding--

Except maybe,

that it teaches us the senselessness

prepares us for the senselessness

of death.

37. When Supper Was Ended

When supper was ended, he took the cup.
Again he gave you thanks and praise, gave the cup to his disciples, and said:

"Take this, all of you, and drink from it:
This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant.
It will be shed for you and for all, so that sins may be forgiven.
Do this in memory of me."

*****

It hit me in church today

That we begin our meal

at church and at home

by blessing your name

bringing you into it

Invoking your love to

fill us up.

But it wasn't until after

you fed your friends

shared your meal

and shared your time

when supper was ended

that you blessed and broke

the bread

and broke it, shared it and said

this is me

shared with you

remember this

and remember me.

When supper was ended

and they'd fed their bodies--

only then did you feed

their souls.

Could it be that

we're so busy getting our fill

that we can't focus on sharing

you and ourselves

with others?

I feel like I never get to the point

when supper is ended

when I know that I have enough

that I am enough

that I have you

and I can turn outwards and share you

and myself

with the world.

36. Heartsick, Knowing

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." John 14: 1-2

*****

We think we're the ones who must furnish a place and

we move the sorrow in first,

a big, awkward couch into the dark living room

lumpy and gray

never questioning its place there in the center.

We move it in first

then try,

after the fact,

to make room for the delicate table lamp

hand-painted porcelain

that we remember, too late,

was yours

although we don't have it,

or you,

anymore.

But we lie uncomfortably

in the dark

heartsick, knowing

your lamp will have no place here--

not next to the gray, lumpy couch

that was there first.

Only now, we're too tired

and it's too big

to move out

alone.

And then we hear your whispers--

Stop. Be still.

Undo what has been done.

After all,

you hate gray.

And then wait, instead,

in trust.

We may not remember your lamp, but we know

it will coordinate --

you will coordinate--

with music and color and comfort--

so for now

we must line the walls of our hearts with trust

and curl up on trust and leave space to sometimes dance

with trust.

Because your lamp shines in the Father's house--

in the room you've already prepared--

and you are dancing in its light

waiting, untroubled,

for us.

35. Human Need

"'For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.' They said to him, 'Sir, give us this bread always.' Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'" John 6: 33-35

*****

All that we are yearns for you.

The needs you planted in us--food, clothing, shelter--

mere literary devices.

Metaphors we simple-mindedly

live into truths.

You made our bodies hungry so

we fatten them up or just get them by with a cup of meal,

having no idea that you made us need food

for dramatic effect--

to drive home the point that you are

the Bread of Life.

You made our bodies naked, and

whether haute couture or rags,

we slip them on

unwittingly playing out your point

that all our efforts won't match

God's clothing for the lilies or the grass in the field.

You made our bodies vulnerable so, cape cod or shanty,

We huddle together inside, not knowing that they are

constructions of yours, not ours,

movie sets in which we dwell

acting out our parts while waiting for our dwelling places

in your Father's house.

Not that I'm complaining, but sometimes I feel

a little silly,

playing at the game of being human,

and wondering

what metaphor I'm playing out when I reach for the next thing I think

I need.

34. A Line in the Sand

"At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?' They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.' Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' 'No one, sir,' she said. 'Then neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared. 'Go now and leave your life of sin.'" John 8: 2-11

*****

Were you a writer?

Because I never knew that about you.

It doesn't matter what it was

that you wrote--

it matters more that no one read it

but you.

They were all glaring

at the condemned woman

lost in their judgments

their fingers gripped tight

around the stones

like the hate that gripped tight

around their hearts.

While you,

fingers outstretched,

wrote a line in the sand

perhaps of love

or forgiveness

but the words weren't important.

The important thing is that

they were not for them.

A reminder to yourself perhaps

that it was you who would have to forgive them again

and too soon

when their stones were

trained on you.

Lord, write your words

on my heart.