14. A Sign

"The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, asking him for a sign from heaven, to test him. And he sighed deeply in his spirit and said, 'Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to this generation.' And he left them, and getting into the boat again, he went across to the other side.

Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, 'Watch out--beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod.' They said to one another, 'It is because we have no bread.' And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, 'Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?' And they said to him, 'Seven.' Then he said to them, 'Do you not yet understand?'" Mark 8: 11-21

*****

You fed thousands, healed hundreds,

raised the dead--

yet you said that no sign would be given

to that generation.

Your whole life

was a sign to that generation.

What more could they possibly have needed?

No wonder you sighed

deep in your spirit.

And here we are thinking

today

that if only we'd lived back then,

had gotten to know you, see you, touch you and

hear you speak, then

surely we'd believe.

That if only it was our sight you restored or

our boat you walked out to or

our hands in your side then

surely we'd trust in you.

But then again,

here were your closest friends

sitting in a boat fretting about how to make do

with one loaf of bread--

and you were sitting right there in the boat with them

when, at the very last place you were together,

the very last place

you fed, not 12, but 5,000 people

with not-enough bread.

Yet still

they didn't trust you

to provide for them.

Is that your point?

Everything's a sign

if we trust you,

and nothing's a sign

if we don't.

Here I am fretting because I can't find my wallet

again

and I've just remembered that the last time this happened,

the very last time

I sent up a prayer and found it

under the seat in the car

(a place that I'd already checked

three times)

and here I am fretting

when I should be sending up a prayer

and checking under the seat in the car

again.

Maybe,

just maybe,

it's a sign.

13. Take Nothing

"And he was amazed at their unbelief. Then he went about among the villages teaching. He called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics. He said to them, 'Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.' So they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them." Mark 6: 6-13

*****

I can't help but think that forgiveness didn't come easy

when you were rejected in Nazareth--

by your own childhood friends and neighbors

who were probably gossiping about you while

sitting on the carved chairs,

eating at the wooden tables

you'd built in your father's shop.

Yet you were made to feel

less welcome

than anywhere else you'd been

since you left home.

Like you were going back home for a high school

reunion, having been voted most likely

to work for your dad,

and you shocked everyone by announcing

that since graduation

you'd gone out and made something of yourself

currently working miracles

for a living--

and no one was impressed.

No one even believed you.

So forgive me for thinking that maybe it was your human side

rather than your divine one

that hatched up this idea

to test the people in the villages near Nazareth

by sending out the twelve to make themselves at home

in any home they chose,

to put their dusty sandals up on those wooden tables

and to rely completely upon the kindness of strangers

bringing with them not one morsel,

not one coin, not one housewarming gift...

except, of course--

healing,

salvation,

and the promise that they could expect the same hospitality

at your Father's house

because you (unlike some people you could name)

know how to make a person

feel welcome.

12. Take Root

"A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold." Mark 4: 3-20

*****

Upon which me

will your seed--

your word--

fall on today?

Let me not be bitter

(at least for today)

or I'll crush it

between the teeth of my past failures

and spit it out

with sarcasm.

Let me not be faithless

(at least for today)

or I'll hastily build it

a shelter unequal

to the first winds of disappointments

or the punishing sun.

Let me not be worldly

(at least for today)

or I'll never clear the way

And its fragile tendrils

will be choked out by the briars

of my shallow deep-rooted desires.

God

(at least for today)

make mine a fertile heart.

11. Drop Your Nets

"As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the sea -- for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.' And immediately they left their nets and followed him." Mark 1: 16-17

*****

You must have made quite an impression--

words they couldn't have understood,

plans they couldn't have known

and still

their very livelihood

forgotten in an instant.

How could they--

how could I--

possibly

have that kind

of faith?

How could anything ever

shake me out

of the nets

I cast--

and entangle myself within?

You must have made quite an impression

And maybe you will on me...

Perhaps

You'll let me glimpse

the majesty of the ocean

before commanding me from this puddle

and perhaps

You'll dazzle me with

flashes of technicolor

so I'll give up

black and white.

Perhaps when my time comes

I won't be torn

by the risk I take

by the sacrifice I make--

perhaps

no risk, no sacrifice

at all--

because I'll see thousands of silvery fishes

and I'll drop my nets

forgotten behind me--

child's playthings

in the face of Your bounty.

10. Whatsoever You Do

"And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of my brothers, you did it to me.'" Matthew 25:40

*****

What would happen if, just for one day,

I could see Your face in--hear your voice in--feel your love for--

the least of my brothers?

And the homeless woman plodding back and forth

along the median with a grimy sign

smiled my mother's smile--my mother's smile--

when, rolling down my window to put a dollar in her coffee can, I glanced up?

Surely I would stop traffic, leap out,

fumble for the passenger side door

buckle her in

turn on our favorite song and drive straight

home

put on some tea and spend some time

learning how she ever

could have come

to be on that median.

And that dollar would be a distant memory

in the history of us

a joke between us that

mostly just she

laughed at.

9. Meet Me

"When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 'Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?' He said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it, : 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hand all the law and the prophets.'" Matthew 22: 34-40

*****

People above the Law.

Deliberate love

in place of mindless ritual.

Repainting the old rules

in a new coat of love.

So maybe you wouldn't mind

if I admit that, for tonight,

I'd prefer we met

down at the pub

Next round of Smithwick's on me

While we pull up a stool to hear you tell the

updated parables--

Samaritan stockbrokers,

prodigal deadbeat dads--

And not in that stained glass library across the street

where your stories

just don't sound the same

Be still and know,

In there it's still

I know

But still, tonight

I'd rather be somewhere

I can laugh out loud

with my friend.

8. Mercy

"For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt.

But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, 'Pay what you owe.' Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?'" Matthew 18: 23-33

*****

My son walked into the room

where I sat reading Matthew tonight.

He was crying.

"God won't want me in Heaven--I said a bad word."

I told him God made us

He loves us

He wants us with Him

He knows we'll make mistakes

But if we're sorry for the wrong we do

God will forgive.

"Then He will love me if I kill someone."

I was taken aback.

"How did we get from bad words to killing?"

He stopped sniffling and looked at me.

"If He forgives us,

He forgives us."

And here I was, in the midst of reading

about the slave shown great mercy

by a lord

yet begrudged a small debt

from a slave.

Seven, and my child knew

Great or small

Novice or hardened

We are all sinners

None more worthy of forgiveness

than another.

I told him to offer up a prayer

aloud he prayed for mercy for his bad word

silently I prayed for mercy for my judging heart

and then I prayed for mercy for all those who killed someone

and were sorry.