32. Only Son

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life." John 3: 16

*****

So many believers love these words

but I mostly hear in it, echoes

of the story I hate

from the Old Testament

when you test Abraham--

ask him to make the ultimate sacrifice

not himself,

but his son,

just to see if he would obey.

I hate that you ask such a cruel thing

(it doesn't sound like you, really)

but you come out looking like the good guy

in the nick of time so

it's Abraham's answer I hate more,

I hate that Abraham answers

with his knife.

If that's faith you can have it

and leave me to shield

my son.

If you want him you'll have to take him

over my dead body.

How can Abraham call himself a parent

and put a cause--

even his salvation--even ours--

ahead of the life

of a child, the life of his child,

the life of

His only son?

So it got me to thinking

that

as much as I hate that story,

you might have hated it more

writing it

knowing you'd be the one with the knife

soon enough

and no one to stop your hand.

As much as I hate that story,

that's as much as you love

the world.

31. The Word

In the beginning was

the Word

and the Word was

with God

and the Word was

God.

He was

in the beginning

with God.

All things came into being

through him,

and without him

not one thing came into being.

What has come into being

in him was

life,

and the life was the

light

of all people.

The light shines

in the darkness,

and the darkness did not

overcome it.

John 1: 1-5

The Word is

God is

being is

life is

light.

And the Word

became flesh.

Jesus.

30. Take This Cup

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done." Luke 22: 42

*****

How anguished and frail

you must have felt

to forget yourself like that.

To forget whose cup sat before you--

To forget who put it there,

who filled it with the deeds

that only you could do,

the life

that only you could live.

Father and son,

one in the same--

but not then.

Not right then.

In that moment,

you couldn't feel your father's presence,

couldn't feel the spirit

interwoven with flesh.

For a moment you felt alone--

betrayed by spirit,

human and frail

and anguished.

No wonder then, that I forget myself sometimes--

forget that your spirit dwells within me

and I shove away the cup

set before me.

Help me listen instead

for the voice of the spirit within

who says, gently,

"It's your cup,

set before you

by the you that always was

and always will be,

and it is filled with the deeds

that only you can do,

the life

that only you can live.

Drink deep."

29. Translation

"People were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they sternly ordered them not to do it. But Jesus called for them and said,

'Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.'

*****

'Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.'" Luke 18: 15-16

*****

In those times

children were beneath men's notice

empty vessels--ciphers--

yet you said

Let the children come

as children boldly will

fearless

without hesitation

without restraint

Allow them through

Pave the way

Let them come.

Or suffer?

Was that, instead, your command?

Did you mean suffer because of them? Or suffer for them?

Your friends suffered

when you spent your precious time--

precious little time--

on those

who were as yet

unformed,

inconsequential.

Yet you suffer

whenever a small one in need

comes to you

appeals to you for help.

Today we suffer too.

When, knowing that we would

give our lives

for them--

our children--

we have no other choice,

no other recourse,

than to suffer them to you,

surrender them to you,

let them come

to you.

28. Persist

"I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming." Luke 18: 5

*****

I'm gonna wear You down

now that I know Your secret

that You can't resist me

just like I can't resist You.

I'm gonna wear You out

asking for things I have no business having

comfort

peace

joy

love.

And I'm not gonna shut up

till I get them.

Oh yes, Lord, you're gonna get sick of me

at the sight of me

at the sound of me

coming down the road.

Draw your shades,

it won't matter.

Knock, knock.

27. Prodigal

"Then Jesus said, 'There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.' So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, 'How many of my father's hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.'

So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly, bring out a robe--the best one--and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!' And they began to celebrate.

Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound. Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. But he answered his father, 'Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!' Then the father said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.'" Luke 15: 11-32

*****

What if the story isn't about love

despite

all he'd done?

What if the story is about

loving him more

because

of it?

Perhaps you don't approve

when we stay behind

half alive--

resentfully working like slaves.

Perhaps you don't just excuse us

you encourage us.

Spend every cent,

squander our gifts,

everything you gave us

so that we have to come--destitute--

and unworthy--

home to you.

26. Samaritan

...'And who is my neighbor?' Jesus replied, 'A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, 'Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.'

Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?' He said, 'The one who showed him mercy.' Jesus said to him, 'Go and do likewise.'" Luke 10: 29-37

*****

Usually when we play this out

You're the foreigner

walking by

and I'm the one bleeding

on the side of the road.

I wouldn't even talk to You

on any other day

and I might not today either--

yet you take pity anyway

and bathe my wounds.

But every once in a while

I'm cast in the role

of the foreigner walking past

and I'm moved by pity when I see

You bleeding by the side of the road.

I love myself

loving You

on those days.